Everything You Need
by Algum ser
Summary: Family is what you have. No matter what happens, Dean will be there for his baby brother. No matter what happens, family is everything. Family is not blood, it's who you love. Dedicated to those who had a rough childhood.


**A/N:** This story is dedicated to a person that I've known my whole life. He tried to kill himself…Most people think he did it because he had a rough childhood. I think it's because he had a rough childhood and nobody helped him, so even nowadays his life was rough.

I'm going to be sincere when I say, I blame myself for that. And I blame a lot of people that I know. And if even I understand that I was too young to do something, and now it's too late, I'd like to say I'm really sorry. And even though I know he'll never get around to read it, that's all I can do now.

So, **this story is dedicated to all the people in the world that had rough childhoods and need somebody to talk to**, you should know that looking for help is not a weakness. Looking for help is a strength and I admire you for it.

~o~

**Sam is 6 and Dean is 10.**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the idea. And if I did, Supernatural wouldn't be on hiatus. (Poor actors)

**WARNING:** This is one of the saddest stories that I've ever written. And I'm known for writing sad ones. Besides, it has a level of physical violence and emotional abuse, but **no** sexual abuse, although there's not of a lot of mentions about that. The main focus, though, is not the violence; it is the recovery after the violence.

~o~

John was torn up with the decisions that he had to make. He loved his kids, and he wished that he could give them a better life, a _normal_ life. But he can't.

He wants to carry both of them on this hunt. But Sam is too young and has just recovered from a bout of flu that left the little guy in bed for a month. But John couldn't hunt alone; he needed somebody to remind him why he had to come back.

Normally, he would've left Dean with Sam in a hotel room. But this month was the same month Mary had died. She was dead now for six years. It was a little too much and he was depressed. Six years with no lead to the demon that took his life away.

With regret he decided to leave Sam with a family that he had helped out a few months back. With regret and a estrange sensation, he left in the Impala, with Dean looking outside the window, already missing the little guy.

John's heart broke a little when his oldest and his youngest said their goodbyes. Sammy was crying his heart out, trying to understand why his family was leaving him behind. Too much TV shows had left him wondering if they were ever coming back for him.

It took a lot of courage to walk away. A lot of courage, but what he had more was cowardice. He was and is a coward, for not being able to live his life for his children. He is a coward because he can't face his life without his wife, in a normal neighborhood, raising his two kids. He is a coward because he thinks it's easier to track down some demon, and maybe hope that killing him will bring Mary back. He's known that all along, but he won't ever tell a soul about him being a coward.

While John walked away, Dean stayed a little behind, telling Sammy that he couldn't live without his 'pain in the ass little brother'.

John would never know how much he would regret his decision.

~o~

Sam was sitting in the balcony's floor, near the edge. But it wasn't the height that made him stay there, it was the way you could see a damn good stretch of road. He was waiting his father and brother to come back for him.

His little legs where dangling outside, trying to be as free as he wished himself to be. It was already two AM and he couldn't understand why the lady had made him stay outside. All he had asked was when they were going to have dinner.

It was dark and he would've been afraid, if Dean hadn't given him his lucky charm, the one that Dean always carried around on his wrist. It was a black leather wrist band. Dean had put it on his wrist. That made it all better. Even because that was the sign that daddy and De would come back to him.

His eyes were getting heavier, and even though the lady had told him he couldn't sleep until he was ordered to, he couldn't stop himself. He laid there in the cold floor, curling into himself to try to keep his body warm against the cold that was assailing him. In a few minutes he was asleep.

~o~

Dean didn't want to leave his baby brother. He didn't like the way those kids looked, but he couldn't question his father. His father would know what's best for Sam and himself.

Looking at his wrist band, he reminded himself of the promise he had made.

'No matter what, Sammy, I'll be there for you. If you need anything, just look at this wrist band and remember: you have the best big brother in the world.'

And the only answer that he got was a whispered 'the bestest'.

With that promise on his heart and head, he started to discuss with his dad the creature they were hunting. He couldn't come back to his brother if he didn't concentrate on the hunt. He had to come back safe and sound along with his father. He promised his brother that.

~o~

John Winchester left his baby boy in the care of the Goodman family. The patriarch of the family was Robert and his wife was Elisa, they had two kids, the oldest Gabriel and his little brother, only known as TC.

The kids were the only thing that you'd question about the family. The house was perfect and so was the house. But the kids…They had a look as only somebody that had lived long would, a look that told everybody that they had only known the hard life.

They were skinny kids, like they hadn't been fed enough. But then again, John could see his baby boy fitting right in, no matter how much he ate, he always looked like he had been starved to death. He couldn't blame the parents because of the kids.

But Sammy would know better by the end of the month, when his daddy came to pick him up. He would know everything about that damned family.

~o~

Sammy woke up with someone screaming above him, calling him names.

"DIDN'T YOU UNDERSTAND ME BOY? I SAID YOU COULDN'T SLEEP UNTIL I TOLD YOU SO, NOW YOU HAVE TO BE PUNISHED!"

The woman grabbed the kid by his wrist, when she got him to stay on his feet, she dragged him inside, making him seat in the tall chair in the leaving room.

"You'll stay here until I say, you hear me, boy?"

"Yes" Sammy whispered

"What did you say, Sam? Didn't you forget something?"

"Yes, M'm."

Before she left, Elisa slapped the kid in the face. Stunned for a second, it was only half a minute later that Sam started crying. He sat there for a long time, crying.

It had been a long time since Elisa had left him there. If Sam knew how to say the time, he would've known it had been four hours already. His belly was aching, the hunger pain making it harder to seat still.

Elisa and her husband had locked themselves in their room. Sam thought he could make it, maybe just get out of the chair for a minute, grab something to eat and then come back to his punishment. When he was preparing himself to jump, one of the kids stopped and started talking.

"Hi, I'm TC. You shouldn't try to disobey, mommy."

"But…I'm hungry."

The oldest came from the kitchen and getting inside the leaving room where Sam was sitting. With a frown on his face, he started talking.

"Mommy and Daddy are doing the dirty thing in their room. If you try to interrupt, they ain't gonna be happy." Sam wondered about the 'dirty thing' the boy said, and thought about asking his brother when he came back

"Sorry, TC, there's nothing on the fridge. Let's try to be extra nice today and maybe they'll get something for them and leave the rest to us, alright?" The oldest kept talking, this time with his little brother.

"Sure." Replied TC, as if being starved was the most normal thing in the world.

Sammy kept watching the conversation between the older brother and the younger one. He tried to see Dean and himself in that position; they had never starved to death. Sure, sometimes daddy would leave and not come back for a looooong time, but they always had food. And Dean would never look like he was dying from hunger.

"What…What would…happen to me….if I got out of the chair?" Sammy decided to ask. He really needed to go to the bathroom.

"Can't you stop complaining for a minute? Seriously, Mom and Dad will hear you. I don't know what you did, but if they said you had to stay there, just do it. It's better for you."

Both of the kids left, leaving Sammy sitting in the chair.

Sammy had to go to the bathroom. Daddy and Dean had told him it was important for him to be a big boy and behave. Sammy remembered the last time he had an 'accident' and hadn't got in the bathroom in time. Daddy had been pretty upset. Dean was upset, because he had made a mess in the 'pala. His brother loves the car. He even calls it a 'she', even though Sammy teacher said it had to be an 'it'.

Sammy kept thinking about the explanation that his teacher gave him, 'your brother must love the car, that's why he calls it a she, Sam'. Maybe that's why Dean called him 'bitch'. Maybe it meant he loved Sammy too.

Happy with that explanation, he forgot about his predicament, jump out of the chair and run into the bathroom. Inside the bathroom, he did his businesses. Dean would've been proud. Or not, he had been doing that for himself a while now. But Dean was always proud of him.

He had some trouble washing his hands, but De always said that it was important to clean them. So he kept jumping to reach the sink trying to turn on the water. He had to be quick. Maybe then Elisa and Robert wouldn't see that he left his punishment.

He finally did it. And he kept smiling, he'd have to remember to tell Dean that he did it all on his own. Maybe then De would stop calling him a squirt. Now, he wasn't so small. He reached the sink! All by himself!

When he finally left the bathroom, he found the couple yelling at their own kids. He looked at that scene, but he couldn't quite figure it out. Yeah, Daddy sometimes would be mad, and yell a little. Sometimes he even would spank him and De (Sammy put his hand on his behind just because from remembering, making a frown) but he would never yell with that much hatred n his voice.

"HOW COME YOU LOST THE KID? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP AN EYE ON HIM, TC." And just like that, the man slapped the kid, hard.

Sammy stood frightened. TC was hit with too much force, he fell to the floor, and his daddy didn't even try to help him. He got near the fallen kid, only to hit again. The oldest didn't let, though, Gabriel jumped in front of the man, holding his hand. He got hit instead.

And then, even though Sammy was scared, his Daddy always told him he had to be a big boy. Whenever something wrong was happening, Daddy would go help, because he knew what was right and wrong, and that was wrong. But his Daddy was big, and he was small…Maybe that was what Daddy meant with 'be a big boy', maybe it meant that stature wasn't the only thing it mattered.

So he jumped in. trying to help.

In the end of the day the three kids were locked in a room. TC said it was the punishment room, where they would be until the parents told them they could leave. The three of them carried their bruises, but they were okay. At least, that was what Gabriel kept muttering to both of them (Sammy and TC).

"Hey…Sam…"

"Yeah?" Sammy was trying to disappear, clued to the wall, with his little legs pressed against his chest, praying that De and Daddy would come back soon.

"I know my Momma said your Momma left you…but I doubt it, okay? She wouldn't leave a great kid like you behind."

"How…How would you know?"

"You see TC and me, we ain't brothers. Not by blood." He pointed to the older than Sammy, that was sleeping on Gabriel's lap. "His Mommy went away a long time ago. So my Momma decided to adopt him. Daddy ain't my real daddy too, just Momma is. She was really great until Robert came into the picture…I don't know what happened. Maybe she is the one that doesn't love me no more…"

"What…What does that have to do with my Mommy?"

"You Mommy must be like TC's Mommy…Angels called her up in Heaven and she had to go…But she loved you…"

Maybe Gabriel was right, maybe Sammy's Mommy didn't want to leave after all…Maybe he would ask his Daddy when he came back…God, Dad had to come back real soon, Sammy was so hungry.

The silence was broken when Gabriel kept talking.

"Does your Daddy treat you like my mommy and daddy treat us?"

Sammy started crying, missing his family and the way they loved him. "No…Daddy gets mad sometimes, and he only spanks us when we do something reaaaallly bad…Like, once, we got mad at some neighbor and decided to put rats in her house…But it was Dean's idea.

"Then can you promise something, Sammy? I promise I'll protect you with everything I have, like your big brother does, but can you promise me that you'll get TC outta here, as soon as you get back with your family? Can you do that?"

"Sure. But what about you, Gabe?"

"She's my Momma…I can't leave her. She knows what's best for me, Sammy."

~o~

Days later Dean and John decided to come back. When they got to the house, they got devastated. Sammy was not the same, and he would never be the same again.

When they got there, and they found their broken, battered and broken family member they knew they had made a big mistake, leaving him behind.

Sammy wouldn't let Dean or John touch him. Every time somebody tried to, he would run away, crying his little heart out.

John promised himself that he would make that couple pay. But they couldn't find them. John had called on the day before, telling Elisa and Robert that he was coming back to pick his little boy. Sammy was left behind at the house, with no food.

John and Dean saw the house, and after knocking several times, they decided to break in. Nobody was inside and there was no furniture. If they didn't know any better, they would say nobody had been living there for a while.

Both of them started looking frantically for their missing relative. They were getting desperate, when they finally heard a cry coming from one of the rooms.

John tried to open the door, only to found out it was locked.

"Sammy, if you're there, Daddy is coming in…I'm gonna break the door, so I can get to you. But, please, please, stay away from the door, okay, so you won't get hurt."

Not hearing an answer, John broke the door down. And as soon as the door broke down, Dean went running inside the room. Only to find his brother pressing himself against the wall, whispering something neither he nor John could understand.

It took four hours to get Sammy talking coherently. It took them even longer to get him to recognize his Dad and his brother. It took them almost ten hours to get the kid do move of his own accord. But no matter what they did, Sammy wouldn't let anyone touch him.

"Sammy, it's okay…It's okay…Just look your wrist band, Sammy. Remember that I promised you that I would come back, huh? I'm here now…" When he tried to touch his kid brother, he quickly withdrew his hand when Sammy started whimpering. "I'm not going to touch you…Just come with us, kay? We're going to the Impala…We both love her, don't we, Sammy?"

The kid walked to the car, he wasn't letting anyone help him, but Dean as okay with that. As long as his brother kept coming with them, he could deal with everything else that step on their way. He would make sure his little brother would recover.

John was walking alongside his children, but his mind was elsewhere. His mind was already on his next hunt: he would hunt the bastard that had done that to the kid, to HIS kid. He let Dean deal with Sammy, 'cause the kid was more comfortable with his big brother, anyway.

The first week was rough in all of them. Sam let Dad treat his injuries, but nobody could touch him after that. At least, he only had bruises. But that was only the amount of touching that Sam would endure, before he started crying. At night, he would wake up screaming, thinking his nightmares were true. He wouldn't talk, at all, only to scream in desperation. He wouldn't eat, every time somebody tried to make him eat, he started screaming he wasn't allowed to.

The only improvement they did one that first week, was to make Sam understand that he could eat, and he wouldn't be punished for anything. They also made Sam realize that he could sleep. But they couldn't make Sam go to the bathroom.

Every night he would pee on his bed and hide the evidence of his accident under his bed, or sometimes he would hide the dirty sheets on the closet. When somebody found them, it was hell, he would start to cry and wouldn't stop.

Dean had no idea how to cope with that. John was too busy trying to find the sons of bitches that had done that to his baby boy, and wasn't focusing at the problem at hand: re-educating his kid to life in society, re-educating his kid on how a kid should be treated and loved.

It was only on the second week that Dean got some more improvements. Sammy started talking, even though it wasn't a conversation, it was him muttering thing for himself.

John had left the night before, promising himself and Dean that he would find the bastards that had done that do the kid. Dean begged him to stay and help him out, because he wasn't sure that he could do it, but John said he would stay gone for only two days and would come back to do his job as a father.

"Hey, Sammy…Why don't you tell me why you won't go to the bathroom?"

"I can't…I can't…She said I'm not allowed…"

"She isn't here anymore, Sammy…You're here with me…"

"The promise…I made a promiseee!"

"What promise, Sammy? I really need to know."

"I promised…I promised Gabe that I would get TC outta there…TC needs a Mommy and a Daddy that loves him…Gabe said that!"

And the kid wouldn't talk anymore.

Dean called his Dad, telling him about the promise.

"Maybe…If we get these kids here, maybe Sam will be able to get better…He isn't getting better, dad…I don't know what to do anymore!"

Every night and every morning, Dean would go through the same thing, try to get Sammy into bed without touching him. Then, after two or three hours, his little brother would finally go to sleep. Dean wouldn't sleep, he would only stare at his responsibility, he should have never let his baby brother stay away from him. Dean should have known better.

Then, Sammy would wake up crying. After he came back to sleep, Dean would try to sleep himself. Both of the boys suffered with nightmares.

When Sammy woke up, there would be the problem with the sheets. And there would be another yelling/crying session. Dean, after one hour, would be able to calm his brother and they would be quiet the rest of the day.

After the morning yelling session, Sammy would crawl into the sofa and stay there, trying to be invisible, his legs pressed into his chest.

On the third week John had called. He hadn't come back when he said he would. But at least he was calling every day, to check on Sammy.

"Sammy, Dad said you would like to see something on the news."

Dean turned on the television, and there on the scream appeared the face of TC and Gabriel. The news reporter saying their parents had been arrested and the kids were being taken to CPS. More important than that, they already had parents going through the process to adopt them, BOTH of them, together, as the brothers they've always been and should always be.

From them on, Sammy started to get better.

~o~

Daddy and De came back for Sammy. It took a long time for him to realize, but he finally did. He started to open up, slowly, but he did.

One night, when Sammy and De were laying on their bed Sammy started talking outta of nowhere.

"I really missed you, Deanie." Dean looked surprised for a second, before he gave his little brother a big grin and started talking.

"Yeah, who wouldn't miss an awesome brother like me, kid?"

"I…I thought you weren't coming back for me."

"I told you I would."

"But it took years for you to come back…"

"Knew I should have taught you how to tell the time before I left you there, little brother…We had been away for a month, Sammy."

"Why did you leave me for so long?"

"If we knew Sammy…If we knew I would be there with you…I would've never left…"

Sammy watched in awe his brother crying. He didn't like when Dean cried…Dean was always so strong…and funny…That's why everybody liked him.

Sammy got out of his bed and went to his big brother side. Poking his brother's rib with a small smile on his face, he started talking again.

"I…Can I sleep with you tonight?"

Dean stopped crying, moved to the other side of his bed, and grabbed his little brother hands, pushing him into the bed.

"But before we go to sleep…Can…Can you tell me why won't you go to the bathroom?"

"The first…the first week…When I was there…I went to the bathroom while I was being punished…Elisa got really mad…She started screaming with Gabe and TC, because I had gone to the bathroom…She hit them…then she hit me…And then she put us on a room for a whole week, bringing food in…"

"Sammy, no matter what you do, we will never lay a hand on you like she did, okay?"

"I know that now."

"No matter what happens, I will always protect you…I'm sorry I failed…"

"You didn't fail De…Gabe said he was doing your job…Because you couldn't be there…And he was right…!"

"He protected you, huh?"

"Yeah, he did, Dean…But you're the bestest, in the whole wide world."

~o~

Sammy would still be afraid of some things for a while…He would still hesitate to go to the bathroom, but soon he started smiling more, and being the kid he had always been. He would question everything, and eventually he got really talkative about what had happened at that house.

"Daddy…What 'doing the dirty' means?" Sammy asked one day one the breakfast table.

John, that was drinking his coffee, almost spit it all.

"Dean, what have you been telling your brother?"

Dean was laughing his ass off. Sure, he wasn't the one that had told his brother that, but it was funny the way his father had looked and the innocent face Sammy had.

"Hey, old man, it wasn't me."

"Sammy, where did you hear that, kiddo?"

"Gabe said that Elisa and Robert where doing the dirty in their room and I couldn't disturb them…"

"Sammy, let's forget about that…okay?"

Sammy made a face, like he was going to ask again then he looked around, smiled to himself and said.

"Okay…"

But even though he said that, he was still anxious and nervous about asking something. It had been a little over a month since everything happened, but he was still nervous about asking questions.

"Did Mommy really go to Heaven?"

John looked at his child like he was the craziest person in the world. John's face that was smiling second before, closed off, the smile disappearing and his wrist closed themselves into a fist.

"Samuel, what did I say about asking things about your mom?"

Sammy started crying, and he tried to get up from his seat, but John grabbed his hand, to make him stay.

"Don't leave without answering, young man."

"You said…s-said I shouldn't ask…Because it makes Dean sad…"

"And?"

"And I should..o-obey you, Sir. Sorry…I'm so sorry…"

And the kid ran into his bedroom again.

"You said he couldn't ask about mom because of ME?"

"I can't…I can't tell him about your mother…It hurts too much…"

Dean went to retrieve his brother, trying to talk to him, trying to let him know that their dad was only hurt, because he missed their mom.

"Hey Sammy…"

"Does…Does Dad hate me?" The kid was laying underneath the bed, Dean could only see his eyes.

"Nop…He misses Mom…That's it."

"Yeah. I know…But Elisa said Dad blamed me for Mom's death, that's why he would never tell me something about her."

Dean didn't know what to say, and when he finally opened his mouth to say something, Sam interrupted him.

"Robert also said that it's also the reason we don't celebrate Christmas and doesn't remember my birthday…You had Christmas before me…And he still celebrates your birthday…I'm so sorry I made Dad the way he is now…"

Dean grabbed his little brother from under the bed and hugged him, pushing him into Dean's lap.

"I don't care what they said, you have to know I love you and so does Dad, no matter what anyone says, we love you, okay, kiddo?"

"Dean…did mommy really go to Heaven?"

"Yeah, Sammy…She's up there looking for us, and if she could she would tell you that you're the most important thing in the world for her."

"No, she wouldn't…She would say that we're the most important things in the world for her."

~o~

John heard his children talking and he decided that he would give them a chance of being a family again…At least for a while, Sammy was too young and he deserved the chance of being a child.

He bought presents and he did everything he could. Sam and Dean couldn't have been more surprised, but they enjoyed it all and laughed.

Dean asked his Dad to call the family where TC and Gabe were staying, so he could thank them for taking care of his brothers. That, for Dean, was the best present he could give them, because they had protected the most important thing not only for him, but for him mom and Dad.

~o~

Years later, Sam went to Stanford.

Years later, knowing that TC and Gabe were happy, knowing that TC was studying to become a Doctor and Gabe was in pre-law, he could finally be happy. He finally could forget about that year of pain and torture.

He had been away from his family for ten days when he found TC and Gabe. Gabe reminded him of his big brother, and he couldn't make his heart ache any less.

He called his brother, only to leave a single message:

"I love you, Dean. I found Gabe and TC and I just wanted to let you know that you've never failed. If anything I failed you when I couldn't come back to being the same Sammy. When I couldn't survive Dad screaming and the hunts. I'm sorry…I miss you…And I hope we'll meet again…But I know you won't call and you know I won't answer…I just wanted to let you know that I LOVE you."

The next day Sam found a message on his phone:

"I hate you kid. I hate the way you left, and I hate the way you made me drive you all the way to Palo Alto. I hate the way I have to protect you because I don't hate you at all…I know you won't answer and I know I won't call…But I'm NEVER EVER saying goodbye little brother. Anything you need, I'll be here…And just so you know, I left a leather wrist band on your bag, go grab it and wear it, bitch."

~o~

**A/N: **I'm really mad at myself right now. I can't get myself to write the way I want, but hopefully you guys will like it.

I hope that you see the different aspects that I wrote…Even though I didn't use the first person, I used a childish way of writing, so you could see the vulnerability of a child. The way the memories and the thoughts can get away from you, jumping from situations to situations.

Hopefully, you'll also see that I didn't focus on the beatings, or in a specific time, I just wanted to let you all know that family support is really important.

So…I have nothing else to say about this one…But about Jealousy, maybe I'll have to postpone its update, 'cause I have to give a tag as Christmas Present and I have kidney's stones that are kicking my ass…Seriously, it's painful…and I hate it…But I'm happy and I'm alive and I have a perfect family…I have no right to complain.

**So, when you get together with your family, just remember that are people out there that don't have this opportunity, so…Just be happy.**

**AND MERRY CHRISTMAS!**

**PS: Give me a Christmas present too…REVIEW!**


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